Madge & Ken

We didn’t think we were the typical adoptive family when we called Common Sense Adoption Services.  It was a second marriage for us both, our kids from our first marriages were in high school and one was out on her own, and we didn’t own our home.  But we just love kids and hoped that maybe someone would see that. 

Right away when we called we got to go in and talk to an adoption professional.  She told us about all the kids waiting in foster care in Pennsylvania and around the country who needed experienced parents to adopt them. 

We were ready to jump right in, but she made us slow down and learn more about what we might be getting into.  At first I think we were a little hard for them to work with – we didn’t think we needed to learn anything about parenting, and wanted to get on with adopting.  Fortunately they were patient with us, and firm.  We learned in classes about some of the special challenges that these kids bring to adoption.  I guess we hadn’t really thought about what it would be like to have experienced abuse, to have lost your parents by going into foster care and how it would feel to get a new set of parents and brothers and sisters.  We really hadn’t thought about how to deal with some of the behaviors these kids brought to our family!

We talked to other parents who adopted, read some books and even spent some time with families who have foster kids.  By the time we finally submitted our application for our family profile we were really sure this was for us.  We finished our family profile, picked out some groups of kids we were interested in and in less than a year had enlarged our family with a sibling group of three.

One of the things that really helped us is that by adopting kids from the foster care system we get financial help too.  The “adoption assistance” for our kids gives us a medical assistance card and monthly payments that help us a lot.  You wouldn’t believe how the kids eat! And how much they have grown in the first year they have been with us.  Tim grew three sizes in the first six months, and Jerry never fit into any of the clothes that his older brother outgrew.  Our legal costs were reimbursed by the adoption assistance as well.

All this help means that Madge can stay home full time with the kids to give them the attention they need from a mother.  We have now moved to a bigger house with some more room for the kids to run and play, and could never have done all this without the help we have gotten. 

We won’t say it has been easy – adding three kids to an already full household.  But it sure has been wonderful.  We thought we had something to offer, but never knew just how welcomed we would be.  Now we are thinking that we might try to adopt again, maybe another sibling group after these guys get a little more settled.